Conflicts in our lives and their solutions. Conflicts in human life. Strategies for dealing with conflict
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Conflicts in our lives
3 What is conflict? Conflict is a clash, a contradiction that gives rise to hostility, fear, and hatred between people.
4 What is the harm of conflicts? Human dignity suffers from conflicts. For every minute of conflict there are 20 minutes of subsequent experiences, when the work does not go well, everything falls out of hand. Physical health suffers - nerves, heart, blood vessels are affected. Therefore, it is imperative to learn how to prevent such conflicts.
5 FOR A CONFLICT TO ARISE, IT IS ENOUGH: Two people Two points of view Subject of the dispute
6 Types of conflicts external internal interpersonal marital intergroup among animals military
7 First aid in a conflict situation. The first and main rule is that in a conflict situation you should not make any hasty decisions. Listen to the advice of your ancestors - count to 10. Practice your breathing. Slowly inhale air through your nose and hold your breath for a while. Exhale gradually (or take three deep breaths). conflict interpersonal rule help
8 Questionnaire - “Are you a conflict-ridden person?” -How do you usually behave in a conflict situation?
9 “Golden rules” - everyone has the right to be listened to: while one speaks, everyone listens; -Everyone has the right to express their opinion and not be criticized. There are no bad opinions; -everyone has the right to leave and return during the game; -If I speak, I speak only for myself. I avoid words like “he thinks that”, “we think”, “I would like to speak for him”; -they don’t talk about who is absent now.
10 Situation 1 Mom decided to check her daughter’s school diary. When she picked up the diary, a sheet of paper folded several times fell out of it. Mom unfolded the piece of paper and saw that it was a note. Her daughter, who had returned from a friend’s place, found her reading the note. The girl snatched the note from her mother's hands. She yelled at her daughter. The girl slammed the door and locked herself in the room. Answer the questions: - Who is involved in the conflict? - Who is to blame for the conflict? - What are the positions of the parties to the conflict?
11 Situation 2 Two 9th grade students decided to hold a football match between themselves. At the appointed time, the children gathered at the school stadium. There was only a goalkeeper of 9 "A" class. Nobody knew why he was missing. His classmates asked him not to start the game and wait for a while. But the players from 9 “B” began to demand that we start immediately. It was clear that without a goalkeeper, team 9 “A” would definitely lose. An argument ensued. Passions were running high. One of the guys accidentally stepped on the foot of the captain of the opposing team. He could not restrain himself and, swinging, hit the offender in the face. The blow was so strong that the guy fell. His comrades rushed to his defense. A fight broke out. The fight was stopped by a teacher passing by. As a result, the game never took place and the mood was ruined. The next day there was an unpleasant conversation in the director's office. Answer the questions: - What is conflict? - Why did the conflict arise? - What could be the ways of development of this conflict and its consequences?
12 Situation 3 A group of teenagers gathered to listen to music. Opinions were divided: some wanted to listen to pop music, while others were fans of “metal”. An argument ensued that could have escalated into a major quarrel. Suddenly one of the teenagers, remembering the cartoon about Leopold the cat, shouted loudly: “Guys, let’s live together!” Everyone felt funny and happy. We quickly agreed to listen to our favorite music one at a time: first pop music, then metal. Everyone was very pleased. Answer the question: How did you manage to avoid conflict?
13 Situation 4 One day Mikhail told his friend the following story: In the dining room, I accidentally met an old friend of mine and made a big mistake by asking how he was doing. As if expecting this, he launched into a lengthy exposition of his latest philosophy regarding environmental pollution. This made me so irritated that I wanted to just get up and leave. Thoughts flashed through my head like: “What a fool, a real neurotic, and how can he be so stubborn.” But after a minute I interrupted this mental chatter and thought: “Well, here is a conflict in front of me.” Think and answer how Mikhail can creatively approach solving the problem that has arisen in order to avoid conflict?
14 A piggy bank of good advice ADVICE FIRST. Treat other people the way you would like them to treat you. TIP TWO. Remember the law of “mirroring”: the way you treat people, so they treat you. TIP THIRD. Assume only the best in people. In all people without exception. ADVICE FOUR. Don't be offended. ADVICE FIFTH. “And when you go to bed, ask yourself, who and what did you please during the day?”
15 There are no uninteresting people in the world. Their destinies are like the stories of the planets. Each one has everything special, its own, And there are no planets similar to it. E. Yevtushenko.
16 A person who does not do a very good thing risks being left alone and causing condemnation from others. Conversely, there are actions that elevate people in the eyes of others. In both cases, when faced with a choice, before doing anything, think about the consequences. And let the decision turn out to be correct.
17 Treat others the way you would like others to treat you.
18 Rules for winning people over to your point of view: 1. The only way to win an argument is to avoid it. 2. Show respect for the other person’s opinion. 3. Never tell your interlocutor that he is wrong; if you are wrong, admit it. 4. Maintain a friendly tone from the very beginning. 5.Let your interlocutor do most of the talking. 6. Let the interlocutor believe that this thought belongs to him. 7. Try to see things from your interlocutor's point of view.
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Target: to form in schoolchildren an idea of conflicts and possible models of behavior in them - the development of conflict competence.
Tasks:
- awareness of conflict as a form of relationship development and as a problem that needs to be resolved;
- awareness of interdependence, formation of a sense of security, trust and mutual responsibility;
- formation of attitudes toward altruistic behavior; desire to give and accept help;
- developing the ability to verbally express feelings of support and approval;
- formation of constructive models of conflict management;
Tips for the coach.
The lesson should begin with a definition of the complex and ambiguous concept of “conflict”. The trainer should tell the group members in language that is understandable for their age that we talk about conflict when we encounter a perception of incompatibility between the interests of two parties or the belief that their goals cannot be achieved at the same time. Next, the main types of conflicts are considered - intrapersonal, interpersonal (between two or more people), intergroup (between groups - ethnic, religious, professional, etc.). As N.V. Grishina, a leading domestic specialist in the field of conflict psychology, notes, the theoretical and practical parts of training on this topic are not clearly separated, “theoretical reasoning is provided with examples on which training in conflict resolution skills is often based.”
Schoolchildren must also realize that “conflicts exist, they are legitimate, and it is impossible to avoid them, since each person has his own interests, which he has the right to defend.” Most often, the conflict is successfully resolved to the mutual satisfaction of the parties involved without any particular resentment or hostility. Moreover, conflicts have positive properties: signaling objective contradictions, they are a source of development of both an individual and relationships between people. However, the escalation of the conflict can cause great harm to the people involved in it and have the most disastrous consequences.
STAGE I. Conflicts in our lives
Exercise"The hand that gives and the hand that receives."
Target: awareness of interdependence, formation of attitudes toward altruistic behavior.
The training participants stand in a circle. It is desirable that there be an even number of participants (so that everyone has the opportunity to find a partner). Otherwise, the trainer also participates in this exercise.
The coach shows the students a hand with the palm up (“receiving” hand), and then with the palm down (“giving” hand) and gives instructions,: “Now each of us must think and decide: what do I love and prefer to do more - give or receive (gifts, attitude, etc.). At my signal, those who like to give more will extend their right hand with their palm down, and those who like to receive more will extend their right hand with their palm up. After this, each of us will try to find an additional hand to ours: the giving hand looks for the receiving one, and the receiving one looks for the giving one. Let's see how many pairs we make and which hands will be left without a pair. Let's start!
- - Why did you choose the “giving” or “receiving” hand?
- - Was it easy for you to find an extra hand to complement yours?
- - Which hands were left without a pair (if any)? Why do you think?
- - How did you feel when you found (or didn’t find) a paired hand?
Tips for the coach.
- - Do you know what blood type can be transfused to all people? (People with the first blood group are universal donors.)
- - People with what blood type can accept blood of any type? (The fourth group is the universal recipient - the recipient.)
- - Do you know what blood types people on our planet have? What is the percentage of these groups? (first group - 47%, second - 41%, third - 9%, fourth - 3%).
- - What do you think this fact says?
Exercise"Confidence Fall".
Target: awareness of interdependence, formation of a sense of security, trust and mutual responsibility.
Instructions:“Now we have to do an exercise that will show how much we can trust the group and how much the group is ready to create a sense of security for the bravest among us. Volunteers who want to experience a free fall into the group's arms will have to fall backwards onto our clasped hands. To do this, 8-10 people will divide into pairs and stand in two lines opposite each other, firmly joining their hands with the partner opposite. Volunteers stand with their backs to the group of catchers and fall one by one from a vertical position, without bending their knees. You can fall from different heights: from the position “standing on the floor”, “standing on a chair”. The task of the group is to catch the falling person with tightly clasped hands. At the moment of contact of the falling person with the hands of those catching, they need to lower their hands a little, “spring”, softening the landing. If the falling one starts from the “standing on the floor” position, then those catching them should sit down. The person falling should keep his hands at his sides, and all participants must take off their watches, bracelets, rings, and anything that could cause injury.”
Coach tips:
- this exercise can be carried out with schoolchildren over 13-14 years old;
- the trainer must specifically emphasize that he guarantees the safety of all participants;
- it is important to ensure that the strongest participants stand in the third, fourth and fifth pairs of the chain, which will bear the greatest load; it is important that pairs of receivers do not stand close to each other;
- if you are not confident in the physical strength of the participants, you should stand in one of the main (3-4) pairs yourself and help catch the falling participant;
- the person falling must stand as close as possible to the chain of receivers;
- participants should be allowed to discuss how best to clasp hands, who should stand where, etc.;
- you should treat with understanding those who get scared at the last moment, and avoid offensive remarks and reproaches from group members towards the person who refused;
- after one or two people fall, there are usually many people who want to have this experience, and you can give them this opportunity by emphasizing the importance of remembering their feelings and experiences;
- it is advisable to remember the remarks and actions of the participants in order to later comment on them as a form of showing concern for the falling person and his safety;
- After finishing the exercise, you should discuss the feelings and experiences of the group members (both those who “caught” and those who “fell”). During the discussion, it is desirable to bring the group to an awareness of positive emotions when overcoming fear and showing trust in the group. It is important to note that this is a reciprocal process.
Issues for discussion.
What feelings did those falling experience during takeoff, flight, and landing?
How did those who fell manage to overcome their fear? What words did they say to themselves?
- - How has the attitude towards the group of those who experienced the flight changed?
- - What feelings did the catchers experience in anticipation of the fall and after they took their comrade into their hands?
- - What would the group members want to change in this exercise? (If the exercise is successful, the group asks, as a rule, to give everyone the opportunity to experience this experience, and also to increase the height of the fall.)
Exercise"Personality in Conflict."
Target: awareness of differences in people's behavior in conflict situations.
Materials: cards with tasks (see Appendix 6), paper for completing tasks.
The group is located in a semicircle, with a table and chairs placed in front of it.
The trainer asks 4-5 group members to go out the door and be ready to solve simple arithmetic problems. Conventionally, they can be called “mathematicians.”
The trainer gives the following to the group members remaining in the room: instructions."“Now the guys who left the door will come in one by one, sit down at the table and solve the proposed problems. 2-3 people will come to the table and will be the organizers of the disturbances, preventing them from completing tasks. On my command, the work will end, and the solver will tell us about his feelings while completing the task. Our task is to carefully monitor the behavior of the “mathematicians”, the manifestation of their emotional states, listen to their stories and remember their reactions.”
Instructions to the organizers of interference: “You need to stand or sit next to the person solving the problem and try to distract him from his work - joke, comment on his actions, talk loudly to each other. However, under no circumstances should you insult a person. For example, the following phrases may be appropriate: “Yes, the problem is difficult. Not everyone can handle it”, “You misunderstood, everything is wrong” “How are you feeling?”, “How did you sleep?”, “What did you eat for breakfast?”, “Did you watch football yesterday?”, “What do you do after school?” ? “Where did you buy such a beautiful hairpin (bow, etc.)?”
Instructions“mathematicians” (given outside the door): “You will be invited into the room in turns and asked to solve simple problems. The conditions in which you will have to work will not be entirely ordinary. Your task is to complete the work and tell the group about how you felt while solving problems, what helped and hindered you in achieving your goal, how you overcame obstacles.” It is important that the worker feels the conflict between the desire to solve the problem and the need to respond to interference.
The trainer gives tasks (one on each card) “mathematics”. You need to start with the simplest tasks. If the coach sees that the problems are being successfully solved, it is necessary to give more complex tasks and, if necessary, increase the pressure on the “mathematician”. It is important to get the “mathematician” to show a reaction to failure and interference. The coach himself determines the moment when to stop performing tasks.
After all the mathematicians have completed their assignments, the group sits in a circle and discusses their behavior, reactions, and stories of how they felt. The trainer’s task is to make participants realize that in a conflict situation people behave differently and experience different feelings.
If the “mathematicians” behaved in the same way, you can divide the group into subgroups of 3-4 people and invite them to imagine other options for people’s behavior in similar situations (for example, ask group members how they would behave if they found themselves in the role of a “mathematician”) .
Then the group sits in a circle, listens to the results of the work of each subgroup and discusses possible reactions of people to conflicts, and the peculiarities of well-being in a conflict situation.
Issues for discussion.
- What feelings did our “mathematicians” most often experience when faced with interference while completing a task?
What feelings do you usually have in similar situations?
- - What feelings did you have when you observed situations with “mathematicians”? (desire to help, sympathy, gloating, etc.)?
- - How does your reaction to conflict differ if it includes peers, teachers, and parents?
- - How would you like to behave in a conflict? Give examples worthy of emulation.
Tips for the coach.
In the group of “mathematicians” it is necessary to include schoolchildren who, in your opinion, will behave differently in conflict situations. Your choice should be based on your observations of participants in previous sessions.
The group of “jammers” should include active, proactive participants.
You can write on a piece of Whatman paper all the identified experiences and reactions of the participants and bring the group to an awareness of the diversity of reactions to the conflict.
It is necessary to thank all the “mathematicians”, noting their courage and important contribution to the research work of the group.
It is important in this exercise not to go into analysis of ways to resolve conflicts. One should limit oneself to the awareness of the existence of differences in the behavior of people in conflict situations.
Exercise"The conflict is within us."
Target: awareness of conflict as a problem that needs to be resolved, familiarity with various strategies for resolving conflict, which may be due to differences between cultures.
The group is divided into subgroups based on ethnicity, each subgroup receives a description of situations from the lives of schoolchildren (see Appendix 7.1).
The coach gives instructions: “In our lives, situations quite often arise when we are faced with a choice: what to do? Now each of you will receive a description of similar situations that can occur at school, in the family, and in communication with friends. First, each participant will write on a separate sheet of paper what he would do in such a situation. Then, in your subgroup, you will compare your answers, discuss them, and choose the answer that everyone (or the majority) agrees with. If you can't choose one answer, choose two. Prepare an explanation of why you chose a particular answer. Then you will present your options to the whole group, and we will all discuss them together.”
Issues for discussion.
- - How did these situations make you feel?
- - Was there a similar situation in your experience when you hesitated (doubted, “divided”) when making an important decision?
- - Do you consider such internal conflict normal?
- - How did you feel when two different desires within you came into conflict?
- - Which solutions do you think are the best? Why?
- - Are there ethnocultural differences in the proposed solutions? What do you think causes them?
Tips for the coach.
It is very important to explain to schoolchildren that when resolving such conflicts, we are often guided by false norms (for example, in the case of Kolya - fears of being accused of “snitching”). However, when it comes to illegal actions (beating up classmates, etc.) that can cause harm to life and health, it is necessary to attract authoritative adults to help. They will help resolve conflict and protect the weaker. In this case, choosing to protect the offended is more moral and justified than remaining silent and trying to cope on your own (for example, by fighting). Many traditional cultures have common customs of attracting intermediaries- more experienced, senior comrades, relatives, teachers, recognized moral authorities, which must also be used as very useful in such cases. In such cultures, publicizing a person's misbehavior can cause shame as the main regulator of moral behavior.
In the case of Ira, another solution is possible - an attempt to talk directly with her, to appeal to her conscience. If it works, don't tell anyone about her misdeed. In any case, the discussion should be directed so that the conflict is resolved in favor of choosing the most moral solution (the least harm to all parties to the conflict, maintaining relationships, moral development of the individual).
Exercise"Message of support."
Target: formation of attitudes towards altruistic behavior; development of skills for verbal expression of support.
Instructions -.“In the lives of each of us there are difficult moments, difficult experiences. There is not always a friend or close people nearby who you can trust. And words of approval and support are sometimes so lacking. Let each of us imagine a stranger who is having a hard time right now and write him a warm message of a few sentences. This is not your relative, boyfriend or girlfriend. Your words should be addressed simply to the person who feels bad.”
Tips for the coach.
If you feel that the participants have questions, you can prompt them with a few typical expressions, for example, “hang in there,” “don’t lose heart,” “you can handle it,” etc. However, it should be advised to avoid verbatim reflection of these expressions in messages.
You should prepare a beautiful box in which the participants will put their messages (it will be opened at the end of the lesson, before the farewell ritual).
STAGE II. Conflict resolution strategies
Exercise"Strategies for exiting conflict."
Target: to form among schoolchildren an idea of possible strategies for exiting the conflict.
The trainer draws on the board or shows a model depicted on whatman paper, which presents the main behavioral strategies (Fig. 10.1) chosen by the participants in the conflict. It is based on the “dual interest model”: interest in one’s own success and interest in the success of another.
Rice. 10.1.
The trainer divides the group into subgroups based on ethnicity and gives the following instructions:“You must select the animals that, from your point of view, use one or another strategy for exiting the conflict from these five options. Remember the lessons of biology, literature (for example, fables). Redraw the model that you see on the board on a piece of paper and write next to each strategy the name of the animal that you think is suitable.
Then, under the guidance of a coach, the group tries to come to a consensus by writing in the model shown on the board the names of the animals that most correspond to each strategy (for example, cooperation - dolphin, avoidance - turtle, compromise - fox, competition - shark, etc.) .
However, unanimity of opinion may not be achieved. In this case, it is necessary to draw the attention of schoolchildren to the fact that representatives of different cultures may associate the same strategy of behavior of participants in a conflict with different animals.
And finally, children are asked to remember real conflict situations in which they were participants. “What animal behavior style did you use when you came into conflict with your younger brother/sister, father, mother, teacher, friend, classmate? Why?"
Tips for the coach.
After the children complete the task, it is necessary to familiarize students in more detail, but at a level accessible for a particular age, with the problem of people’s behavior in conflict situations and with the methods they use to get out of the conflict. Returning to the previously discussed model, the coach analyzes the main styles of behavior that differ depending on the conflict participant’s orientation towards achieving his own goals and (or) the orientation towards achieving the goal of the other party.
The high level of interest of a conflict participant only in his own successes is manifested in offensive rivalry strategies, which means any attempt to resolve a conflict on one’s own terms without taking into account the interests of the other party. In this case, different methods can be used: from attempts to insist on one’s own, to persuade, to prove that one is right, to more “harsh” pressure - threats, intimidation with punishment, etc.
When a high level of interest in one’s own successes is combined with a high level of interest in the successes of the other party, the participant in the conflict resorts to cooperation strategies. He takes the path of resolving the problem and makes efforts to come to a mutually beneficial solution for both parties, however, without giving up his claims. This is a way of resolving conflicts in which participants come to a solution that fully satisfies the interests of both parties.
Weak interest in one's own successes, combined with a strong interest in the successes of the other party, manifests itself in concession strategies in which the parties reduce their claims and sacrifice their own interests for the sake of the interests of others. However, this strategy does not always mean complete capitulation - concessions can also be partial.
Conflict Avoidance Strategy indicates that the party cares little about both its own successes and the successes of the other party. In this case, the participant in the conflict will not do anything in the hope that everything will be resolved by itself.
To these four strategies, one more is often added - compromise strategy. The difference between this strategy and the others has not yet been clearly defined: some authors consider it as a variant of cooperation, others draw attention primarily to the fact that agreement in this case is reached through concessions. But in any case, research results show that the compromise style should be placed between the strategies of cooperation and concessions; it is much further away from competition and avoidance. Apparently, the compromise strategy is the result of a strong interest on one side in the success of the other, combined with a moderate interest in their own success.
However, quite often the parties to the conflict cannot or do not want to use any of the listed strategies. In such circumstances, a third party is involved in conflict management - intermediary Conflict resolution through the intervention of a mediator is considered - along with cooperation in resolving the problem - one of its constructive forms. In recent years, much attention has been paid in many countries to the training of “school mediators” - students trained to help arguing individuals or groups resolve a problem.
Exercise"Intercultural conflict at school."
Target: awareness of differences in behavior (one's own and others') in conflict situations and familiarity with various conflict resolution strategies that may be due to differences between cultures.
The trainer divides the group into subgroups mixed according to ethnocultural characteristics (see Appendix 7.2). Children are given instructions'.“The theme “Cultural Assimilator” presented potential conflict situations due to the fact that their heroes did not know the characteristics of another culture. You learned to explain people's behavior based on the characteristics of their culture. And now we will try to resolve conflicts that may arise in intercultural communication. Now I will give you descriptions of one of the situations of a cultural assimilator. Each group must choose the best, from its point of view, way to resolve the conflict that has arisen between the characters in the situation, and then explain its choice to all of us.”
Issues for discussion.
- - What options for resolving the conflict did you prefer in this case? Why?
- - Is a mediator needed in this conflict? If so, what is its role?
- - What options for resolving the conflict are still possible? Describe their strengths and weaknesses.
- - Have there been similar conflicts in your life? If possible, tell us about them.
- - How did you resolve them?
- - How does knowledge of the cultural characteristics of its participants help in resolving a conflict?
Tips for the coach.
Schoolchildren must realize that representatives of different nations may prefer different strategies for getting out of conflict, which must be taken into account during interpersonal interaction. Children need to be given clear examples of such cross-cultural differences. For example, you can use the JI example. N. Gumilyov about the stereotype of behavior that representatives of different nations will demonstrate if a violent drunk gets on the tram in which they are traveling. Let us recall that in Gumilyov’s opinion, the Georgians “will grab the offender by the chest and try to throw him out of the carriage,” the German will begin to call the police, the Tatar will prefer to avoid participating in the conflict, and the Russian may say “a few sacramental words,” but most likely will take pity on the drunk and seat him him in his place. In other words, the Georgian will demonstrate a strategy of competition, the Tatar will demonstrate conflict avoidance, the Russian will make concessions, and the German will resort to the help of a mediator.
To date, many psychological studies have been conducted, the results of which indicate that representatives of collectivistic cultures tend to either avoid conflict or yield to the other side in order to maintain harmony in the group. For example, in an empirical study of strategies for getting out of conflict, conducted under the guidance of one of the authors of the manual, it was revealed that in friendly communication Russian students prefer passive strategies that reflect a low level of interest in their own success (concessions and avoidance) to active strategies that reflect a high level of interest in one's own success (cooperation and competition). In contrast, representatives of a more individualistic - American - culture are characterized by active methods of resolving conflicts: cooperation and competition, both in business and in friendly communication.
In general, in collectivistic cultures, as evidenced by the results of empirical research, there is a greater desire to either take into account the interests of the other party or avoid conflict. Thus, the Japanese often try to use workarounds (try to instill certain thoughts, ingratiate themselves, impress, appease the other party).
However, it is necessary to take into account that the noted behavioral features of members of collectivistic cultures manifest themselves when interacting with representatives of their own group. If a conflict arises with members of an out-group, then collectivists do not try to get away from it. In this case, they often show an even greater tendency to compete than individualists.
Trainees must also recognize that the role of the mediator is also culturally determined. For example, the Chinese prefer to use mediation to a greater extent than the Americans. The Chinese believe that mediators, primarily influential people, remove the hostility that exists between disputants, while the Americans are accustomed to relying on their own strengths. Traditional Russian culture also attached great importance to the third party to the conflict; it is no coincidence that the catchphrase was a quote from N. A. Nekrasov’s poem “The Forgotten Village”: “When the master comes, the master will judge us.”
At the same time, the course of the discussion should lead schoolchildren to the understanding that any interpersonal conflict between representatives of different ethnic communities should and can be resolved, and it is necessary to strive for cooperation, i.e. developing a solution to the problem that would unite opposing positions or, in extreme cases, a compromise between them.
Before the farewell ritual, the trainer invites the participants to sit in a circle at a distance from each other and gives instructions."“Now I will open the box with messages and approach each of you, and you will take any message from the box. If someone discovers that they have received their own message, silently raise your hand. I'll come over and we'll make an exchange. After reading the messages, you can keep them for yourself.”
Farewell ritual.
Instructions: “We all stand in a circle. The first participant extends both hands forward, palms up. At the same time, he says any brief wish to the group. The next participant standing nearby repeats the same actions and says his wish. In this case, one of his hands should be in contact with the palm of his neighbor. These actions are repeated by everyone in turn until the entire circle is closed and the participants’ hands form an inflorescence.”
When the circle is closed, the coach can say: “We have a common flower from our hands, the warmth of which we feel. Let everyone take the image of this living flower home with them. You can even mentally put it in a vase as a memory of our joint work.”
- Grishina N.V. Psychology of conflict. St. Petersburg, 2000. P. 428.
- Zdravomyslov A.G. Sociology of conflict. M., 1995. P. 28.
Today we will have a conversation on a very interesting topic... but a small crossword puzzle will help you find out. I will tell you the personality traits, and you try to combine them in one word.
A harsh, merciless, ruthless man. (Cruel)
A man full of anger. (Wicked)
A cheeky man. (Impudent)
A person who is unreal, unnatural, unfaithful. (False)
A person who does not want to study or work. (Lazy)
A person who deceives. (False)
Rude, easily offending, disrespectful. (Bold)
A person who has no sense of conscience. (Unscrupulous)
-What do you think we’ll talk about?
(
About conflicts)-Do you think this topic is relevant for our class?
?
A preliminary survey showed that you all behave differently in conflict situations, and among us there are representatives of all conflict groups.- Can everyone have the same interests, beliefs, views on the same event?- All people are different. We may have different not only age, gender, appearance, height, but also different interests. Therefore, it is not surprising that we perceive the same things, phenomena, and people’s actions differently. The entire history of mankind is a history of endless disputes, wars and conflicts. They have always existed and will always exist. They are, unfortunately, an integral part of human relationships. And it is impossible to say for sure whether disputes and conflicts are useless or whether they are a normal phenomenon of our life.Today we will try to understand what “conflicts” are, their causes and solutions, we will learn to get out of conflict situations, we will get acquainted with the concept of compromise.-
What is a dispute?
(This is a verbal discussion of something in which everyone defends their opinion). Unfortunately, disputes often develop into conflicts.- Tell me, guys, how do you understand the meaning of the word “CONFLICT”
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(Children's answers are listened to)- I’m clarifying:
Conflict
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this is a dispute, quarrel, scandal in which the parties do not skimp on mutual reproaches and insults.Conflict in psychology
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clash) is a perceived contradiction between people that requires resolution.In your opinion, where does conflict most often begin? (from an offensive word).EXERCISE 1.
The sun is attached to the board, a symbol of friendship, joy, and good mood. I suggest you write on the clouds the offensive words that you most often hear and say. These words ruin the lives of many. The guys attach them in the sun.
For a conflict to arise, there must be at least two points of view present (the so-called internal conflict) and the subject of the dispute.
At the heart of every conflict there is always a conflict situation. The components of a conflict situation are:
Participants in the conflict (opponents);
Subject of conflict.
-What do you think could be the cause of the conflict? - What character traits do you think are inherent in a person for conflict to arise? ( Stubbornness, Envy, Jealousy, Leadership (superiority), Self-assertion, Misunderstanding, Superiority of power, Rudeness, Rudeness, Deception, Mockery, Cruel joke, Mistrust)Scientists conducted a psychological experiment that revealedWHAT people want to cultivate in themselves and see in others. And this is the data that was received.People wanted to develop the following qualities: - confidence, determination - 46%, endurance, poise - 30% - determination, willpower - 30% - tolerance - 12% - goodwill - 10% But everyone would like to add to the people around them: - kindness, humanity - 50% - honesty, decency - 30% - mutual understanding, sympathy - 22% - tolerance - 16% - generosity - 12%So, people wish themselves more hardness, and those around them more softness. But those around us also expect mutual understanding, kindness, and decency from us, but we are firmly moving in a different direction. As a result, mutual dissatisfaction, tension, and conflict arise. As we see, conflicts arise for a variety of reasons, but the reasons are similar for everyone: mismatch of goals, desires, assessments, disrespect for others, inability to communicate.
Scientists have identified several types of conflicts.
The most common is uncontrollable conflict.
Someone stepped on your foot on the bus, and you were indignant: “That impudent guy didn’t even apologize!” Now he is forced to attack: “I don’t like it, I have to take a taxi!” As a result, things may lead to a fight.
Another type of conflict is cold tension (internal conflict).
It can occur among people standing in line, when someone, using their right, tries to get ahead of everyone. For example, when showing a social worker’s ID, people remain silent, but everything is boiling inside them. But then someone can’t stand it and protests, the queue supports him and a scandal breaks out.
There is a third type - avoidance, when a person clearly shows that he does not want to maintain communication.
Guys, the consequences of conflict can be both positive and negative.Positive consequences: 1. The problem has been resolved in a way that suits all parties.Cooperation experience is gained that can be used in the future.
Relationships between people improve. Disagreement is seen as evil, leading to bad consequences.
A jointly made decision is implemented faster and better.
Competitive relations between people are intensifying.
There is no desire for good relationships. The idea of the opposite side as an enemy. The belief that the problem is more important than the solution. Feeling resentful, bad mood.
Today, guys, you realized that everyone can avoid conflict and in any situation this is possible. Reluctance to yield, aggressive behavior leads to Sanctions, i.e. punishment for misbehavior. You are already entering the age when you must bear legal and criminal responsibility for your actions.
Let's take a closer look at this parable .
- So what traces were discussed in the parable? (About the traces that a person’s actions and words leave in the soul).
You cannot live life without conflicts, but a reasonable, cultured person will always be able to effectively resolve disputes and disagreements, flexibly using various strategies: in some cases he will firmly insist on his own, in others he will give in, in others he will find a compromise. And in order not to make a mistake in choosing a behavioral strategy, you need life experience, wisdom and knowledge. I hope that you received this knowledge during our communication today.
Each of you has three colored squares: red, green, black. You should now think and answer my question using these squares.
Do you find discussion of this topic useful, and will it change your behavior in conflict situations?
1. Red - YES 2. Black - NO 3. Green - I DOUBT.The predominant color is red. I am glad that today’s class hour was not in vain, that you understood that everyone can avoid conflict, and in any situation this is possible.
Task 4. Students pass the ball around in a circle, promising each other not to conflict (I will try to be more tolerant, I will be kinder, I will not say offensive words... etc.) Final exercise “Gift” Here on the board there is a small gift for each of you. And remember: nothing is accidental. What your gift says is meant for you. At the end of the class hour, each student receives a reminder on how to behave so as not to get into a conflict situation.In the broad sense of the word conflict- this is a clash of objective or subjective contradictions, which is expressed and manifested in the confrontation of the parties. At the heart of the conflict there is always a contradiction that is significant for people’s life, disagreement of interests, needs and goals, disrupting the normal interaction of people, preventing the achievement of their goals and leading to confrontation.The causes of various conflicts that exist in people's lives are the contradictions of their interests and goals in all areas of their life. Contradictions permeate all spheres of human life - socio-economic, political, spiritual. They manifest themselves in communication, behavior and purposeful activities of people.
The following are distinguished: types of conflict causes:
1. The presence of opposing value orientations. Each individual and social group has a certain set of value orientations regarding the most significant aspects of their life. They are all different and usually opposite. At the moment of striving to satisfy needs, in the presence of blocked goals that several individuals or groups are trying to achieve, opposing value orientations come into contact and can cause conflicts. The most acute conflicts arise where there are differences in culture, perception of the situation, status or prestige. Conflicts caused by opposing value orientations can occur in economic, political, socio-psychological and other spheres.
2. Ideological reasons. The ideological cause of the conflict lies in different attitudes towards the system of ideas that justify and legitimize relations of subordination, dominance and fundamental issues of worldview among representatives of different groups of society.
3. Causes of conflict related to the field of economic and social relations in society. This type of reason is associated with significant differences in the distribution of material and social values between individuals or groups. Inequality in the distribution of values exists everywhere, but conflict arises only when there is such a magnitude of inequality that is regarded as significant for an individual or social group, violating its rights, ideas about justice, etc.
4. The causes of conflicts lie in the area of social and socio-psychological relations of people in society. Conflicts arise due to differences in the position that people occupy in the structure of social and socio-psychological connections and relationships in various social groups. For this reason, conflict may be associated, firstly, with different goals pursued by individuals or groups, and secondly, with the desire of a particular person or group to occupy a higher place in the hierarchical structure of relations.
5.The cause of the conflict may be psychological characteristics of the individual. Various personality deformations, mental pathology, stereotypical relationships, behavior, psychological discomfort, inadequacy of perception and understanding of another person, the motives of his behavior, situations and other psychological characteristics of the individual that prevent adequate perception and understanding of other people, their relationships and the general situation of a person’s life can be causes of conflicts. Conflict-producing personality traits are: intolerance to the shortcomings of others, reduced self-criticism and an inflated level of claims, impulsiveness, lack of restraint, deep-rooted negative prejudices, prejudices towards individuals or groups, a tendency to aggressive behavior, to subjugate others, greed, selfishness, rigidity, rigidity of habits, high level of neuroticism.
Individual information models of conflict
Conflict is always associated with people’s subjective awareness of the contradictory nature of their interests as members of certain social groups. Aggravated contradictions give rise to conflicts only when they are deeply experienced by people and recognized as incompatibility of interests and goals.
Each participant in the conflict has his own information model of the conflict, which guides his actions towards his opponents.
Information models of conflict situations– these are the subjective ideas of the conflict participants about each other, the subject and goals of the conflict, and the conflict situation as a whole. They are a kind of mediating link between the characteristics of the participants in the conflict, the conditions of its occurrence, and the behavior of the participants in the conflict. Information models of a conflict situation include the following representations of the conflict participants:
- about yourself, your needs, capabilities, goals, values, etc.;
- about the opposite side (about his needs, capabilities, goals, values, etc.);
- about how the opponent perceives him;
- about the environment and conditions in which the conflict occurs;
- about necessary and possible actions, behavior towards the opponent to achieve the goal of the conflict;
- about the subject, purpose and possible options for resolving the conflict.
The degree of discrepancy between the image and the real picture of the situation varies. For example, a conflict situation may exist, but not be recognized by the parties as such, or vice versa. The perceptions of the parties to the conflict are of great importance for their relationships in the process of solving the problem that is the subject of the conflict, and influence the outcome of the conflict. External influence on the participants in the conflict allows them to change their subjective information models. This is a real and effective means of influencing the course of the conflict and the choice of options for resolving it.
Psychological barriers in conflict
Psychological barriers are present in the communication and interaction of people in the vast majority of situations in their life. A person rejects, considers some information unnecessary for himself, experiences fear, various apprehensions, a feeling of uncertainty, when entering into communication with another person, he is prevented from freely expressing his thoughts, feelings, his attitude to what is happening by some features of the personality or behavior of another person and many many others.
In psychology, the concept psychological barrier in the broadest sense of the word, it means an obstacle to communication and interaction with other people.In conflict situations, negative emotions and feelings of people involved in the conflict often act as psychological barriers.The development of a conflict is usually accompanied by negative emotions of its participants, such as antipathy, irritation, anger, contempt, resentment, etc. As a rule, it is emotions that act as the first and significant obstacle to the reasonable and rational resolution of a conflict situation.
Under the influence of negative emotions, there is a distortion in the perception and understanding of information about the personality of the communication partner and the situation goes in the direction of increasing negative characteristics in everything, everything is perceived “in black tones.” People's negative emotions and attitudes can act as a significant factor in people's conflict behavior. In the studies of M.Z. Neimark studied the “inadequacy effect,” which is a psychological mechanism of the influence of a negative, inappropriate assessment of the situation and other people on the behavior of an individual in a conflict situation. This effect occurs when a person’s high self-esteem collides with the fear of not justifying it, of not confirming one’s claims. In this case, the mechanism of psychological defense against disturbances of internal balance is triggered.
Strategies for dealing with conflict
Strategies of people's behavior in conflict are a very significant factor that determines the dynamics of the development of the conflict and its effectiveness.
Evasion. A person who adheres to this strategy seeks to escape conflict. This strategy can be used in many conflict situations when
- the subject of the conflict is not personally significant, worthy of time and effort;
- there is an opportunity to achieve the desired goal in another way;
- the strengths and capabilities of the opponents are equal and conflict interaction can lead to an undesirable disruption of the relationship between them for both;
- one of the participants in the conflict has a significantly weaker position compared to the other (understanding of one’s own wrongness, lower social status, personal characteristics, etc.);
- the need to postpone conflict interaction in time in order to strengthen one’s position with additional information, support of one’s supporters, etc.;
- subjective motives for avoiding communication and conflict interaction with a specific opponent who has certain personal characteristics (aggressiveness, unprincipledness, deceit, inflated self-esteem, etc.).
Avoidance of conflict interaction is advisable if the subject of the conflict emerged under the influence of the negative emotional state of one of the participants in the conflict. If there is an objective contradiction that prevents further communication and joint activities of people, the strategy of avoiding conflict prevents the resolution of the existing contradiction and, as a result, disrupts the development of relationships between people and the implementation of their joint activities.
Adjustment (smoothing). This style of behavior is based on the principles: “Don’t rock the boat”, “Let’s live together.” A person tries not to let out signs of conflict and confrontation, calling others to solidarity. At the same time, the problem underlying the conflict is ignored; they try to present it as insignificant. As a result of using this strategy, temporary peace may occur. Negative emotions do not appear, but they accumulate. Sooner or later, an unattended problem and accumulated negative emotions will lead to an “explosion”, the consequences of which will be dysfunctional.
The adaptation strategy is usually used in the following situations:
- the participant in the conflict does not consider the subject of the conflict to be significant for himself and therefore considers it possible to yield to the opponent;
- one of the participants in the conflict has a desire to provide support to the opponent and receive satisfaction from the manifestation of his kindness;
- opponents give in to each other in order to preserve relationships that are significant for both;
- in the presence of acute, currently unresolvable contradictions, strong emotional manifestations of one of the opponents to prevent further destructive development of the conflict;
- if one of the opponents shows a tendency to compete.
The adaptation strategy can be used in any type of conflict, but is more often used in the field of business and professional conflicts in the interaction of people with different social and professional status (subordinate - manager, student - teacher, etc.). This strategy, in the case of existing objective contradictions that are significant for joint activities, may be ineffective, because unresolved contradiction can cause conflicts in the future and reduce the quality and productivity of joint activities of people.
Coercion (competition, confrontation). A conflict participant who adheres to this strategy tries to force his opponent to accept his point of view at all costs; he is not interested in the opinions of other people. This style is associated with aggressive behavior, which has various forms. Power based on coercion is used here to influence other people.
This behavior strategy is used in the following situations:
- the subject of the conflict is of vital importance for one of the parties to the conflict, and he believes that he has sufficient capabilities to resolve the conflict in his favor;
- the conflict participant is confident that his solution to the problem that has arisen is the best and he has the opportunity to achieve its acceptance by the opponent;
- one of the participants in the conflict has no other opportunities to achieve his goals and loses nothing by forcing the opponent to accept his version of the decision.
This strategy can be effective if used in extreme situations that threaten people’s lives and health, when vital decisions need to be made quickly. The main disadvantage of using this strategy is the suppression of the initiative of the parties to the conflict, ignoring their opinions, showing disrespect for the personality of another person and the likelihood of repeated manifestations of the contradiction that has arisen.
Compromise. This style is characterized by accepting the other party's point of view, but only to a certain extent. The ability to compromise in situations of joint professional activity is highly valued, as it reduces ill will and allows conflict to be quickly resolved. But after some time, the dysfunctional consequences of a compromise solution may also appear, for example, dissatisfaction with “half-hearted” decisions. In addition, the conflict in a slightly modified form may arise again, since part of the problem that gave rise to it remains unresolved.
The compromise strategy is used when
- the participants in the conflict know its causes, objectively assess all the advantages and disadvantages of their positions and are ready to cooperate by making concessions on some issues;
- the conflicting parties have equal strength and capabilities, but mutually opposing interests and consider the solution to the problem on the basis of some mutual concessions as an intermediate option;
- parties to the conflict having different strengths and capabilities make a compromise decision in order to gain additional time to prepare for a new conflict interaction;
- the conflicting parties make mutual concessions due to a change in their own opinion on the problem during the development of the conflict and a change in the goals of interaction with the opponent;
- other strategies of behavior in the existing conflict situation did not bring success.
Collaboration (problem solving). This style is based on the conviction of the participants in the conflict that differences in views are the inevitable result of the fact that everyone has the right to their own point of view, everyone can be right, everyone can be wrong. With this strategy, participants recognize each other’s right to their own opinion and are ready to understand it, which gives them the opportunity to analyze the reasons for disagreements and find a solution acceptable to everyone. This strategy is based on respect for the personality of the other person, self-criticism and a focus on solving the problem in the best way, both for the common cause and for each of the parties to the conflict. One who relies on cooperation seeks a solution to a problem that takes into account the interests of all parties.
The cooperation strategy is the most effective for maintaining and further developing constructive relationships between people. In conflict situations, cooperation is possible when
- the existing contradictions are important for both conflicting parties, and they both intend to jointly solve this problem;
- the conflicting parties have equal powers and opportunities or consider them as such;
- participants act as partners who have a trusting relationship, respect each other’s interests and are interested in resolving the conflict.
There are no universal strategies for behavior in conflict situations. To choose the most effective strategy for behavior in a conflict situation, it is important to take into account the conditions of a specific situation, the characteristics of the subject of the conflict, the personality characteristics of each participant and other features of conflict interaction. The predominance of any one behavior strategy in the system of ways of interaction of an individual with other people is a sign of the presence of a number of qualities that impede effective communication with other people. For example, the predominance of a compromise strategy in an individual’s arsenal of behavior strategies in a conflict situation may indicate a person’s lack of restraint, patience, and a tendency to make impulsive decisions. The predominance of the adaptation strategy may be a sign of insufficient willpower, integrity, and perseverance in achieving the goal.
Complex conflicts require the use of a combination of different styles of behavior, changing their set in accordance with the characteristics of the development of the conflict at one stage or another. For example, at the latent stage of conflict development, an adaptation style can be used, in the open period at the incident stage - evasion, with active interaction - a combination of several styles in accordance with the actions and behavior of the opponent, at the stage of decision-making and conflict resolution - cooperation, compromise, competition in depending on the specific situation.
